For most people they react with laughter and smiles to the birth of a new baby. Some may even shed tears of joy. And although deep down inside I share the same feelings, it is buried underneath the many reminders. The reminder of what I once looked forward to, the reminder of the joy I had, the reminder of what I almost had, the reminder of what I lost, the reminder of all the pain and sorrow I feel, the reminder of the huge hole I have in my heart, the reminder that that should be me. A part of me feels relieved when it doesn’t happen to someone else, but a part of me feels unfairness like they shouldn’t have what I don’t have. I know in time it will get easier for me to handle these new births, but right now it just hurts.