Day 2

So today was a little bit better than yesterday.  I actually made it through the day without crying, although I had to swallow my tears a few times.  I was still greeted with hugs and warm smiles, even saw some faces I didn’t see yesterday.  I started working with some of my students too.  I was a little nervous around the kids though.  Kids are so carefree, especially the little ones, and say whatever they think. You never know what they are going to say.  I met that fear face to face today.

While I was working with some 2nd graders, one of them expressed how they missed me and said I was gone for a long time.

I agreed and said, “Yes, Mrs. De Leon was gone a long time.”

“Why?” he asked.  I kind of froze on what to say. I guess because I didn’t answer fast enough, someone else did.

“Because her baby died,” a little girl responded.

“Yeah, she did,” I said.

That was hard to swallow.  I know I can’t take things personal and I know the kids aren’t out to hurt me.  They just say what’s on their mind.  I know the older kids wanted to ask me questions, but out of respect they didn’t. Even though they didn’t ask me anything, I still felt a bit uneasy.  I know they are old enough to understand what happened. So I’m sure it was on their mind when they saw me.  I know each day will get a little bit easier and I won’t feel so out-of-place.

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