It was God…

“God? Are you there?”
“Yes child.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m right here.”
“But I can’t see you”
“I’m right here.”
“But I can’t feel you.”
“I have promised to be with you wherever you are, to never leave you nor forsake you.”

    Two years ago, this was a conversation I had with God.  Like an avalanche, my world was tumbling down all around me. The hopes and dreams of the little girl I carried inside came to a screeching halt. Her heart stopped beating.  I was devastated, confused and angry.  How could MY God let this happen? Didn’t He love me?  Why didn’t He perform a miracle?  Where was He?  I was left with no answers or explanations, just questions and a wide range of emotions.  How was He going to help me and get me through this? I couldn’t see Him…

    In the book of Ruth, we learn about a woman who suffered great loss, Naomi.  Not only did she have to bury her husband, but BOTH of her sons.  She was overcome by so much grief and emptiness, that her faith began to weaken and she felt like God had abandoned her.  She believed God had cursed her.  She had lost all hope.  Throughout all her trials and suffering, it was hard for her to see how God was with her.  She couldn’t see it, but we could.  It was God that brought Ruth to her for companionship.  It was God that placed Boaz in their path to help provide for them.  It was God that used Ruth and Boaz to give her another child.

    It’s not always easy to see God when you’re walking through darkness.  We tend to feel abandoned and alone.  God does not promise that our life on Earth will be easy.  In fact the Bible says we will, “suffer many trials and sorrows.”  But God does promise that He will “never leave nor forsake us.”  Sometimes we have to get through the darkness so that we can look back and see how God worked.

    On my shelf I have a wooden plaque that quotes Footprints.  It says, “The Lord replied…I love you and would never leave you.  During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”  Two years later, I can look back to when we lost Bella, and see how that applies to us.  I couldn’t see it then, but I can see it now.  It was God that gave us the strength to deliver our angel.  It was God that gave us the grace and strength to plan and carry out her funeral.  It was God that gave my husband the words to speak at her funeral and the peace that came over him as he stood before our family and friends.  It was God that protected our marriage when it could have fallen apart.  It was God that gave us grace each day to keep on living.  It was God

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