Today, October 1st, begins Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. As a way to honor our little girl, Isabella, we will be taking part in “Capture Your Grief,” a project by CarlyMarie Project Heal. It is a thirty-one day photograph challenge. Each day there is a specific topic/subject for us to capture. To help break the silence on infant loss, I will share this journey with you. Today’s topic…”sunrise.”
This morning the weather was very gloomy. The fog was thick and the mist was heavy. I thought to myself, “How fitting is this “sunrise” to capture our grief?” On March 5, 2011, this is how our world felt, thick, heavy and gloomy. There was no sunshine in sight. We didn’t even know if the sun would ever shine again. This morning, I knew the sun was still there even though I couldn’t see it. This is a perfect depiction of our grief. Even though it’s been 2 years, 6 months and 26 days, I still have those days. The days where the heaviness takes over and I don’t feel like getting out of bed. On those days my joy, like the sun, is not gone, just hidden behind the clouds. Eventually, the clouds break open and the sun shines through.