He Gave His Son

I never experienced pain like I did the day our daughter died.  It was completely unexpected and rocked our world to the core.  I felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest and I didn’t know how I could go on.  I love each of my children with every part of me, even the one I hadn’t held in my arms.  I never imagined I would experience something like this.

As I sit here and prepare for this weekend’s Easter service, I am reminded of something. God willingly gave up His son. He sent His son to Earth to die, for our sins, for me. I know the level of pain I felt when we lost Bella, unexpectedly, without warning.  I can’t imagine the pain God must have felt when He gave His one and only son. He sacrificed His life so that we may be saved and have eternal life. He knew the death that He would endure. The torture and pain He would experience.  How hard it must have been for Him to deny His son’s request to take that burden away.

I don’t know that I could willingly sacrifice one of my children.  I love them more than words could describe.  But to know that God’s love for me is greater than that, is unimaginable.  My daughter, Bella, and His son, Jesus, dancing on streets of gold together, waiting for my arrival, is a vision so sweet and makes Easter that much more special to me.

It was God…

“God? Are you there?”
“Yes child.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m right here.”
“But I can’t see you”
“I’m right here.”
“But I can’t feel you.”
“I have promised to be with you wherever you are, to never leave you nor forsake you.”

    Two years ago, this was a conversation I had with God.  Like an avalanche, my world was tumbling down all around me. The hopes and dreams of the little girl I carried inside came to a screeching halt. Her heart stopped beating.  Continue reading